And the clouds still roll in

This month has been a really busy one for me. I was determined to reach my goal of $5,000 in retail sales so that I could get at least one chance at winning a car at convention next April. All it takes is one ticket and now I have mine. Slumber Parties is really where my heart is at the moment. I would love for this to be my one and only income, bringing in enough to cover my bills and have some left over for fun. I am between a rock and a hard place and must make a decision which is proving to be a very difficult one. 10 years ago I purchased my dream home, all by myself. The home my ex husband of 19 years told me I could not have. I put 20% down and moved in. Since the day, I've refinanced twice, to consolidate some bills and to do some home improvements. I pissed away $15,000 in an investment scam with a so called friend and that prevented me from remodeling my master bathroom. I wasn't bitter, I figure Karma will take care of it. I was left to pay it back nonetheless, which makes it really more than $30K. I replaced the roof on my 2500 SF home, the central H&A, all the appliances, put granite countertops in the kitchen, installed custom closet systems,replaced all the carpet with hardwood floors, added indoor plantation shutters, put in a tankless hot water heater, replaced the garage door, built a custom entertainment system that stretches the length of the depth of the house, customized the fireplace,repainted the house inside and out, installed a water softener as well as reverse osmosis and lots of other small things. I sat through 3 hurricanes with my dog Harley and survived. Now I am weary. December brought an increase in my homeowners insurance premium - yep, I'm with State Farm. And yet another one to go into effect next month...35% rate hike, on my auto policies too!
I've toyed with trying to modify my mortgage, get this, Wells Fargo called me 2 weeks ago, offered to refi me down to 5% thus reducing my mtg by $150!!!! I almost laughed. I'm current by the way. And then last week WF sent me a note reducing my HELCO by $5000, which of course brings me to max. I've been using that as an overdraft which has saved my butt. But now I am thinking I need to do something more drastic. Ok, so I've toyed with the modification - but it will cost me $3,000 with no guarantee that I'll get it where it needs to be. I am tired of trying to maintain it. I love it, but maybe it's time to downsize. Repercussions. My credit is impeccable at the moment. But I don't want to pour good money after bad. My nest egg is gone. Decisions. I really want quality of life. I don't want any stress, so I'm thinking like many others that I should just walk away. Obama didn't bail me out, nope, as a matter of fact, the changes put into action since he went into office has pretty much thrown me under the bus. I do answer to "speed bump" these days. What to do, what to do . . . .
I know many who are walking. At first I couldn't even conceive of it. Of course I had a job then. Things look a lot different when your mortgage is more than your unemployment check. The job market in FL SUCKS. The foreclosure rate is out of sight. So unless I win the lotto in the next 30 days, I'm thinking that I need my money for survival, in a smaller place.
Contemplating . . . .